Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Crystal Bell: 'Dancing With The Stars' Recap: Motown Marathon Madness

The music may have been Motown, but the contestants seemed like they were still caught up in the heat from Latin week, as several couples were pushed to their sensual limits on tonight's "Dancing With the Stars" (Mondays at 8 p.m. ET and Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on ABC).

William Levy and partner Cheryl Burke ended up getting horizontal on the dance floor, while Katherine Jenkins wowed the judges with her newfound saucy spunk. However, Disney star Roson Fegan's attempt at being sexy may have just cost him the competition.

Gladys Knight may be the Empress of Soul -- and a Motown legend -- but she failed to impress the judges with her slow-tempo rumba, leaving her once again on the bottom of the leaderboard.

However, tonight was also a night of incredible comebacks, as Jaleel White finally lived up to his Week 1 potential. Plus, Donald Driver finally scored a number from Len that he agreed with and Gavin DeGraw's hat made a surprise return appearance on Mark Ballas' head. Oh, hat, how we've missed you.

Adding to the Motown pressure, for the first time this season, the contestants had to participate in a dance marathon at the end of show, where the judges awarded each couple an additional 3 to 10 points -- with the most technical and creative couple earning 10 and the least, earning a 3 -- based on who could successfully dance for the longest amount of time.

It was a brutal four-minute Motown marathon, as it tested the stamina of the competitors. Perhaps least surprising, Gladys and Tristan were knocked out first. However, frontrunners Maria and Derek were quickly kicked off the dance floor after them. In the end, Katherine and Mark were the winners, and once again, we were all treated to Katherine's surprised face. That girl puts Taylor Swift to shame.

Now, let's break down the rest of the night:

William Levy & Cheryl Burke
Dance: Rumba

William has a tough job, guys. He has to be sexy all of the time. It's not as easy as it looks. Well, for William, it actually is that easy.

William and Cheryl definitely brought the sex to the ballroom with their sensual rumba, in which they, too, ended up on the floor in a horizontal position. Their hands were just all over each other, and the women in the ballroom were loving it.

Bruno called it "absolute and utter filth" (but the good kind), while Carrie Ann thanked William "on behalf of all of the women out there." But for Len, it was a little on the raunchy side.

"It was good," he said, "But I can't go into ecstasy like some people here." Thankfully, Bruno responded with what we were all thinking: "He needs Viagra."

Judges' score: 27 + 9 = 36

Maria Menounous & Derek Hough
Dance: Foxtrot

OK, Maria, I'm over your psycho dolphin laugh. I'm sorry, but I'm really not sorry. It's kind of annoying at this point. Thankfully, you're dancing is gorgeous.

Maria may have lost her footing -- and let her shoulders come up, according to Carrie Ann -- but it was an otherwise stellar foxtrot set to "Jimmy Mack" by Martha and the Vandellas. It was sophisticated, yet fun.

And the best part? They didn't need to rely on a kiss for shock value. Instead, Maria and Derek kept it classy. Hallelujah!

Judges' score: 26 + 4 = 30

Donald Driver & Peta Murgatroyd
Dance: Foxtrot

Fact: I'm scared of Donald. I'm sure he's a really great guy (when he's winning), but after seeing how he overreacted to his scores last week, I was slightly scared of the football player -- and frightened for Len's life. I know he's competitive, but that was too much. Remember Donald, you have a Super Bowl ring. Therefore, you're already winning at life.

Back on the dance floor, Donald and Peta danced a super fun foxtrot to "The Way You Do the Things You Do" by The Temptations. After giving Donad a less-than-satisfactory 8 last week, Len told the wide receiver that his foxtrot was absolutely "explosive," and for a minute, I thought Donald was going to do a touchdown dance.

Although, he still feels like Donald can do more, so he tells Peta to "work on him" because Len feels that Donald has what it takes to be a great dancer.

Judges' score: 27 + 7 = 34

Roshon Fegan & Chelsie Hightower
Dance: Rumba

The rumba is all about being sensual, but Roshon has a Disney image to uphold, so there wasn't really anything sexy about Roshon and Chelsie's dance. In fact, the sexiest part of the entire performance was Smokey Robinson singing "Cruisin'."

But that wasn't the super cute duo's only problem. In her pursuit to make Roshon more comfortable being sensual, Chelsie caused him to completely overdo it, and the entire routine felt a little more forced than usual. It was lacking the grace and easiness of their stunning Viennese waltz from two weeks ago.

Even though the crowd loved Roshon's rumba, the judges thought that the "Shake It Up!" star over exaggerated his movements. "The movement was clipped and jerky," said Len. "It was like pain-by-numbers."

However, the best part of the night came when Bruno shook his happy hips a little too vigorously -- much to Len's obvious dismay.

Judges' score: 23 + 5 = 28

Melissa Gilbert & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Dance: Viennese Waltz

Just when I thought Maks was going soft this season, it looks like the fiery dancer is finally back to normal -- and terrorizing Melissa in rehearsals. (Case in point: "Are your f--king legs together?!") Attaboy, Maks!

Since the beginning of the competition, I've wanted Melissa to go home. I just didn't feel like she was really trying. Where some contestants made up for their lack of technique with their big personalities, I just felt like Melissa was lacking on both fronts. However, I have to give Melissa credit tonight because the former TV star looked absolutely gorgeous on the dance floor during her Viennese Waltz.

Not only was she hitting all of her steps, but for the first week ever, she also wasn't being overshadowed by Maks. Her lines were clean, and her movements were smooth. "You work so hard, and it is finally paying off," Carrie Ann said, before telling Melissa to watch her shoulders.

Looks like Maks' tough love delivers results.

Judges' score: 24 + 6 = 30

Katherine Jenkins & Mark Ballas
Dance: Samba

The odds are definitely in Katherine and Mark's favor. Once again, the two came out on top of the leaderboard.

Working her best Snooki poof, the gorgeous mezzo-soprano danced a high-energy, sultry samba to The Temptations' "I Can't Get Next to You." Meanwhile, Katherine's partner Mark borrowed a hat from the Gavin DeGraw Collection. Maybe Gavin left it for him as a bittersweet memento?

Len was so impressed, he even made a funny, dubbing Jenkins "the midwife" of the competition because she successfully delivers week after week.

However, Katherine and Mark have yet to secure a 30, so the race to the first perfect score of the season is still on. Here that, Derek? You still have a chance.

Judges' score: 29 + 10 = 39

Gladys Knight & Tristan MacManus
Dance: Rumba

Thanks to Gladys, I know more about Motown now than I ever did before. For example, before The Temptations were The Temptations, they were The Primes. Also, The Pips used to wip their butts on the softball field. (Gladys was obviously the pitcher.)

She also brought her own secret weapon to rehearsals: Her brother Bubba, the original Pip. He definitely taught Tristan a few things about Motown, like how to snap-clap-move-and-grove properly.

On the dance floor, Gladys and Tristan got off to a slow start (really slow), but you know what? The Temptations were on stage singing "My Girl," so I was thoroughly entertained regardless. Not to mention that Tristan was wearing the cutest hipster glasses ever. However, I could have done without all of the Barney purple.

"Gladys, if I could judge purely with my heart, you would be at the top of my leaderboard," said Len. Of course, that statement was then followed by, "But you're not the best dancer." You better believe that Len's criticism was met with ballroom boos, so the top judge clarified. "You're the most charismatic dancer ... You're easy like Sunday morning."

For me, Gladys and Tristan were the only couple to really capture the soul of Motown. Of course, I'm sure the Empress of Soul had something to do with that.

Sure, Gladys may have forgotten some of her steps, but can I please just have at least one more week of Gladys and Tristan?! I swear, just give me one more week.

Judges score: 21 + 3 = 24

Jaleel White & Kym Johnson
Dance: Cha cha cha

Now, that's what you call a comeback. After weeks of turning out less-than-stellar routines, I was starting to believe that Jaleel was never going to live up to the potential he showed in Week 1. That is, until tonight.

Jaleel's cha cha cha was so energetic that it even made Bruno quote Kelly Clarkson. Say it with me now: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Side note: Jaleel's mom is the cutest mom ever.

Judges' score: 29 + 8 = 37

"Dancing With the Stars" airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET and Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on ABC.

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